Help! I'm trapped in Societal Expectations!
It seems culture has a tendency to brand for who we want to be. According to what John J. Ivers, Professor at BYU- Idaho tells in his lecture on Culture and Psychology, there is a cultural ought-self and a real-self. Our- ought self is typically reliant upon what the society we live in tells us. The real- self is us in reality. Supposedly, the more our real-self relates to our ought-self, the higher self-esteem we'll have because we're more culturally accepted or praised.
This principle leads to self-fulfilling prophesies where people get incredibly caught up in what they're supposed to be according to society. So much so, they embed deep, at times irrational, beliefs that shape who they are. Ivers gave the example of the Salem witch trials, and how the culture at the time caused people to believe in witches cursing them, when in reality the people they went so far as to kill were innocent.
Another extreme example I thought of that I've learned about in the past was in the middle ages there was a phenomenon called lycanthropy. There was a mass panic that someone had been bitten by a werewolf, and a ton of other people would also believe they too had been bitten, and they'd act ludicrous. They'd even run around rabidly, howling and growling like a wolf would. Their culture at the time, what everyone else was doing made them think these (at least what seems to us) insane delusions.
As I contemplated whether or not I have any irrational self-esteem deficiencies due to my culture, I found it hard to think of any specific things I personally have issues with. This is most likely due in part to the positive side of the United State's culture that values uniqueness. There is a much wider scope for the ought-self, than there would be in some other countries. Of course that doesn't mean we don't have irrational thought processes due to our culture. There is plenty. One that I think effects a lot of people is how doing well in school is seen as so important, people will consider themselves dumb if they don't do well in it. But the thing with school is sometimes it doesn't matter how smart you are if you aren't very gifted with academics and the system they operate under. Some people don't have 'book smarts' as they say, but 'street smarts.' This is troublesome for those who are like this because they'll forever think they're stupid because they don't get grades like the 'smart kids.' Their real-self- their smart self, doesn't match with culture's expectations that a smart person gets good grades.
I find myself and others of my faith to be at an abnormal advantage to the world when it comes to seeing rationally and keeping a leveled self-esteem though, because we've have had a delightful consistent reminder in our doctrine. It's plainly stated in this scripture: Doctrine and Covenants 18:10 "Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God." Knowing there's a potential to become more than mere mortals on earth buoys up the spirit, and rises above the cage of cultural demands. Not to mention we also know that we have our agency which helps us to know we have a choice to do what will advance the real-self, rather than just lining up to fit in with the ought-self.
What I think the biggest thing we can learn with this knowledge in our hands is that we should often take time to evaluate some of the things we do or think and see if they're making us happy. If they're not, we can say there's a possibility it's because our real-self isn't aligning with our ought-self. Then we'll be able to tell if we can change what we can so we'll be happier by not being trapped my societal expectations.
sources:
https://video.byui.edu/media/06+Culture+and+Psychology/0_s4h3d6bc
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