Get out of my BUBBLE
If you watch even just the first minute of this video, you'll see how uncomfortable the girl is. It's not just because of his bulging eyes or what he's saying, it's his loudness, and his proximity. All of which are invading her personal space.
Everyone has a limit to their 'personal space,' and those who come from a culture that like a lot of distance, or quiet can easily clash with those from those who are used to being close.
I had a bit of an strange experience that I thought of as I pondered times I had invaded or been invaded by someone's proximity. One of my old roommates was from Scotland, and she had this British friend who came over who I never really talked to. But she told me one day that he didn't like me. And I was like- "what? I've never even talk to him! How could he 'not like' me?" And she told me how it was because one time he'd come over with some friends and I had just woken up from a nap when I went into the lounge where they all were. I was heavily disoriented, it was a deep nap, and seeing all the unfamiliar faces right off the bat confused me. So I imagine I might have looked a bit like a troll coming out of my room the way I did as I kept asking them "who are you? Who are you?" I wasn't harassing them or anything, I was just dazed, I wasn't being rude in any way- I always love company! But her British friend thought that I was rude with how 'loud' I was. (I am telling you I really wasn't loud! I was quite calm actually- picture sleepy off of Snow White- I was in the kind of state). Yet I suppose the mannerisms I'd displayed in that moment that all of my American roommates didn't have a problem with, seemed off-putting and abrupt to him who likes a lot of quiet and personal space.
This goes to show how good it is to know a little bit about where someones bubble lies and what will penetrate it. In my case, asking forward questions in a not very hushed tone was 'rude.' What a blessing this knowledge will be in the classroom! I'll know to tread lightly with new students, and test them gradually to figure them out, so I don't scare them off like I did that British guy.
What's funny is I'm an American, and I frightened a person from Britain with my idea of personal space, yet I've had friends from Brazil tell me they think most Americans are quite 'cold.' I've also heard that even across the United States there is a variation between how close people talk.
Knowing about personal buffers and boundaries in others can help us realize when we are judging someone. Those who come from a different culture might be seen as weird when they don't associate with others the same way. This can be vital information both in the TESOL classroom, and life when we observe others and try to understand how to approach them.
Sources:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8FQsg12hoY (You should really watch this, it made me laugh- It's got people being crammed into a subway)
https://westsidetoastmasters.com/resources/book_of_body_language/chap9.html
https://video.byui.edu/media/05+Personal+Space+Differences/0_yz4lk5f0
I remember watching this video a year or so ago and laughing at how obnoxious and ridiculous this guy was portraying himself. When you put it into this context - personal space differences - to some cultures, some of the things we do may seem this exaggerated. It's a great reminder to be aware of this, especially in the classroom where our goal is to create a safe, neutral environment. Thank you for the great post!
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